Gloom, doom, boom
It’s gloomy day in Lawrence, Kansas. The weather is stormy and the sky is dark. I’ve also massacred, like, 3,000 ants. They’re everywhere and have pretty much infested my bedroom. The ants are in my shoes, in my closet, in my dog’s food bowl, and in my bed. A traveling posse of flying ants have taken over my room, too. About twenty flying ant bastards hung out inside my bedside lampshade last night and watched me read, and then crawled on my pillow. I’m sure some crawled in my mouth, too. Freakin’ disgusting ants.
Although my house is all anty, it’s also lined with beautiful flowers and trees. I forgot how awesome this house can be. It’s old. Really old. Like, 1890-ish old, so it has some problems, but it’s still lovely. I’m going to miss all the pretty once I move into some beige hellhole.
And have you heard about my beagle? My damn beagle who injured her paw and is now stoned on pain killers? Yeah. She’s been a yelpy little grump butt for four days. She’s finally feeling better, though. Well, she’s not feeling better now. She’s actually hiding in the bathroom underneath a blanket because a thunderstorm is kinda raging outside.
Now, here’s something. Have you guys seen this? My colleague wrote it. Holy infuriating, am I right? It’s absolutely insane. Not my colleague’s piece, but the butt face the piece is about. I bet my parents totally wish they would have bought rape insurance when I was a baby. Then they wouldn’t have had to pay all my pesky therapist bills. Actually, I don’t think that’s how rape insurance would work, but you get the point. It’s idiotic. Luckily, a local Kansas group has concocted a way to stick it to this freak face. Click here to find out more.