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My retirement plan

June 30, 2013
Abbie's death march

Well, I say. Today looks like a fine day for my final swim.

A lot of people say, “Say! I plan on retiring in style.”

To that I remark, “Good plan, but what do you think is stylish and comfortable?”

At this point, the person I’m speaking with typically starts to list mundane future plans. He wants to go to Florida. Perhaps get a club membership.

*shrugs shoulders*

You know what I want to do when I retire? Here’s my plan:

The pre-aging process:

Once my hair begins to grey, I plan on dying my locks a pleasant purple hue. I will wear my long purple hairs in Princess Leia buns every day.

My retirement transportation:

A fleet of basset hounds will pull me around town in a carriage. My furry friends will pull me everywhere I need to go. I plan on naming them:


Kermit looking around the corner on Van Damme BeachJune

dollycarl_MarilynJaneDolly and Carl

LorettaOliver_JWyniaLoretta and Oliver



My funeral:

We will meet soon, dear foe.

We will meet soon, dear foe.

When I’m ready to kick it (die, pass away, etc., etc.), I plan on fighting a great white shark to the death. I will punch, kick and yell to no avail. This, my friends, will be the ultimate burial at sea.

Do any of you think of retirement often? Do you have an elaborate plan such as mine? Do tell.



Laszlo Nagy HU






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