The title of this post is a bit inaccurate. I know. I am a reporter and I’m not supposed to lie, but I have to get you to click on my damn blog somehow, right?
I am calling this my week of sorrow and horror because of the events I have attended, and will be attending this weekend.
We all know last Saturday was Halloween. I finally thought of a free (as in I owned everything I wore) costume. I decided to be…
Frankenhooker!!
Abbie the Frankenhooker and dead girl Katy with a special appearance by nerdy boy #2 in the background @ the Spook Lights/Black Christmas show.
I’m super hot when dressed as a dead, pieced together girl. The hilarious thing about this costume was that I was more clothed than most girls I saw out and about, and I was portraying a hooker.
Ba-ha.
This is the original Frankenhooker. As you can see, I went as the PG-13 (and smaller chested) version.
The other sorrow-ish event I attended this week was Emilie Autumn’s show at the Granada in Lawrence. What could be more depressing than a stage full of hot ladies acting out a vaudeville performance while dancing to Victorian/industrial music in burlesque attire?
OK. I know that none of that sounds sorrow-y. I suppose you’ll have to wait till my PopWreckoning review goes live to find out about the misery laden show.
The next event is tomorrow. Yes. I’m going to A.F.I. Go ahead, point your fingers and laugh. I know. The band is terribly cheesy, but I’ve loved the band’s brand of cheese since I was a teenager, so give me a break.
So there you have it. My week of sorrow and horror.
Tune in next week where you can watch me decide what shows to go to over the next few weeks:
Why? on Nov. 10
Zechs Marquise on Nov. 13
Rob Zombie on Nov. 14
Netherfriends on Nov. 16
The Grooms on Nov. 17
Lover on Nov. 19
The Cranberries on Nov. 29
Why must I be plagued with decision making!!
Oh, the horror…
Over the weekend, I did some Halloween prepping. I got a pumpkin to carve, and watched some terrible horror films.
OK. I watch terrible horror films every weekend, but I hardly ever carve anything…promise.
A beer on top of a bible at a Halloween party. Yup. That beer owner is burning in hell right about now.
The first movie (which is the best-est b-movie I’ve seen in a while), was Drag Me To Hell. Gypsy curses on buttons, anvils falling on heads, eyes popping out of heads, and random things being flung into a helpless girl’s mouth (hey, get your minds out of the gutter)…It can’t get any better.
The second movie was Street Trash. It’s about a bunch of bums who buy a liquor called Viper. Instead of getting drunk when they’ve consumed the liquor, the bums start to melt into piles of neon goo (I think that’s what happens to kids who drink too much at Neon, too).
The movie also has a few other odd highlights:
- Cantonese hookers (this was the actual scene name on the “Scene selection” page. Yeah) attacking bums.
- Necrophilia (with a terribly un-real, mannequin-esque body).
- Bums playing keep away with a guy’s penis that’s cut of by a man having a war flashback.
That’s right. I’m recommending this movie…
because it’s hilarious.
So, I’m still trying to decide what to be for Halloween. I seriously have no idea. I have no cash, and no desire to show a lot of t*t-age.
I’m at a loss.
Help a girl out, and get in the Halloween spirit, folks.
I only have four and a half months left in my apartment.
FOUR AND A HALF MONTHS, guys.
I’m pretty happy about that.
In the meantime, I’m looking for a new place to live. I really don’t care what it looks like or how small it is; all I know is that it must be super, super cheap. I must save cashes to have a personal life and buy food to maintain a healthy weight.
Seriously. Tomato soup, cereal and rolls are not cutting it anymore.
Although my personal life has been less than stellar lately because of my busyness and lack of moneyness, I have managed to go to a few shows over the last couple of weeks.
Angel Spit and KMFDM at the Beaumont, The Good Foot at the Riot Room, and Blitzen Trapper at the Jackpot.
Here are the highlights of each outing:
I got to watch girls in incredibly high platforms-heels teeter and totter while trying to dance to the electro, darkwave beats. Also, it was to hear a band that does electronic music that’s out of the norm. No gritty, indie base, weird bubbly sound effects or songs about dancing or mopeds here, kids.
I learned that the members of KMFDM know how to say the band’s name multiple times during a performance. Oh, I also learned that KMFDM is a drug against war. It’s true. They said so. I say we drop them in a war zone and see what happens.
Soul music has a nice “footing” (haha) in KC. But really. Julia Haile’s voice is superb and the band is grand (and dapper, too). The band kept the crowd dancing through both of its sets. The Good Foot has a few shows coming up, so be sure to check them out.
Dear goodness, I can’t help it. I love these guys. I typically hate folk music, too. Blitzen does a nice job of adding in indie, rock, and electronic elements to the music, though (the music is epic and cheesy at times, but very well written). The band was amazing live. All harmonies seemed to be in perfect unison and pitch. The band sounded like perfection on a stick.
In other music news, my father sent me an e-mail today with a link.
The e-mail stated:
“Take a listen to grandpa’s new single. His warbling is beautiful.”
The link sent me to Bob Dylan’s Christmas album.
Now that’s some folk music I don’t like.
Yikes.
So, a few months ago or so, I gave you all a list of shows you should attend.
Guess what?
I’m totally doing that again!
Here is my rock-tober (I’m sooo original) show list:
Well, this one is going on as we speak, and it’s sold out so good luck getting in. Anyhow, it’s Girl Talk. I don’t like girls or talking (or dancing), but I still think it would be a fun show to catch.
Next up is Moby outside the Beaumont (back yard) on October 2. Sweet DJ beats for your feets.
Come enjoy this local fashion/music extravaganza at the Replay on October 3. Admire local fashions on models that are totally zombiefied. It’ll be a drop dead (haha) fun night for all.
As some of you may know, I have a deep love for all things cheesy, dark, and tragic. So, that’s why I hope to attend KMFDM and Angel Spit on October 7 at the Beaumont.
Next up is the Entrance Band at the Jackpot on October 9. I’m totally looking forward to this psychedelic explosion.
I will be moving (slightly) for sure at the Ghostland Observatory show at the Crossroads on October 16. That’s saying a lot, guys, because I don’t dance (or sway). Ever.
Another show I will NOT miss is Blitzen Trapper at the Jackpot on October 18. I heart these guys hard.
Annd, if I had the cash, I’d totally go see Gogol Bordello again (for the fourth time). These guys are great and amazing. They’ll be at Liberty Hall on October 24.
Also, note the Halloweenie Roast I wrote about yesterday.
Yes, yes. There will be more. I’ll try to add them up here every once and awhile.
Hope this holds your interest for now. Until then, I’ll be writing about organic produce and all sorts of other things.
Boo!
Did I scare you?
Yeah. Didn’t think so.
I bet I will when I’m Patrick Bateman for Halloween (yes. It may happen. Unless you have any other suggestions).
Anyway. Halloween gives us many things.
It gives many women the opportunity to dress semi-whore-ish for a day. It also gives men the chance to get drunk in tights and makeup.
Mmmm. Sexy.
But -
In KC, Halloween brings us the Halloweenie Roast (Eek. The Raveonettes. So. Happy).
Take a look at the entire line up.
A few weeks ago I saw Autolux at the Bottleneck. It was a good show. I even enjoyed L.A. openers, Mini Mansions. Mansions have a darkened, toned down ELO sound, and vocals are reminiscent of the Beatles and Elliot Smith.
Here are some other lovely tunes you should give a listen to:
Listen to Love2, Air’s new album, over at the band’s MySpace page. Dead Man’s Bones is streaming their new album on MySpace, too. Both albums will be released next Tuesday, October 6.
All my money is disappearing because of new music! I’m going to be eating pb&j for months.
Ok.
Why do some women (without babies) get angry when other women state, “I really don’t want to have kids. Just not for me.”
I’ve encountered many women who tell me I’m “crazy” or “mistaken” for not wanting to have children (and, often times, they get realllly mad). And the children we are talking about are totally hypothetical mind babies. I’m not married or in a relationship, but even if I was, I seriously doubt I’d be on the baby track.
Call me crazy, but pregnancy is just not on my top ten list of things I want to experience in life. I really do think I can live without it.
I mean, I’m not even ruling out adoption. That could happen I really don’t see that happening. However, a lot of people I know frown on that, too, and say “oh, you’ll totally regret that it’s not yours.”
Really? How do you know, lady who doesn’t even have a flesh accessory of their own? Does the baby really need to have the Abbie brand label?
Me thinks not.
I guess I could understand if my friends with children (man, I’m getting older) got irritated for my lack of baby enthusiasm, but they seem to be cool with my no baby mindset. Maybe it’s because they have known me long enough to understand the Abbie genes are a little wacko.
Anyway. Not saying babies are bad. They’re pretty cool for some people – just not me.
Eckgh. I think I’ve typed the word baby one too many times now.
Baby rant done.
I think these (baby post one, and baby post two) two posts may have inspired me to write this today.
Mmm. Being sick is not awesome.
I started feeling ill the night of Mars Volta, and have been forcing myself to sleep (then work , then sleep (repeat)) over the last two days. I hope my diligence pays off and I’m well by the weekend.
I think I either caught the little stinker of a cold at the Brick on Friday (Tigercity & Tut Tut) or at the Bottleneck (Cowboy Indian Bear/Suzannah Johannes/Murder By Death) on Saturday.
Anyhow, this blog is going to be about Tigercity. I actually went to the show as a fan and not a reviewer, but hell, it’s going to get a semi-review (definition of semi-review: It’s been a week, so I can’t remember all of the details, but I’m going to try to write about it anyway, dammit).
It was a typical night in KC. I couldn’t find my way to the venue at first, and had to circle the block a few times before finding a parking spot.
After finally finding a spot, my friend and I exited the car and began to walk towards the venue. As we walked around the tied off sidewalk, I realized I forgot to change my shoes (I wasn’t sure if I was going to a show earlier that night, so I decided to wear heels. Yes. I know I should have realized my error before leaving my apartment, but I’m not very observant. It’s a flaw).
I have a strict “DO NOT wear heels to a show” policy.
I seriously dislike females who go to shows and are all like, “OMG!! My feet hurt, like, so baaad. Take me home (she cries to her friend). I’m miserable.”
*Click – clock – click – clock (sound of girl walking away – Sits down in chair, and makes the worlds most scrunched pouty face*
That ain’t me!
But, alas, it was on Friday night.
Luckily I had on my little heels, so I wasn’t too towery or uncomfortable.
My friend and I made our way to the back of the bar and took a seat. I like to hide in corners at shows. Being out in the open makes me feel way uncomfortable. I’d really like to own a cape that would make me invisible. That way, I could go anywhere, at anytime, and never be seen (muahaha).
We caught the tail end of Tut Tut. I didn’t know a whole lot about the band, but I enjoyed what they had to offer. I suppose I would describe them as a cheery indie-dance band that had a deep love for percussion (I spotted a lot of noise making devises on stage).
After Tut Tut walked off the stage, I got myself another beer (aka handed my friend some cash and asked him if he would make the trip to the bar), and watched the members of Tigercity walk around the venue.
Around midnight, the men from Tigercity (Bill Gillim, Joel Ford, Andrew Brady, and Gregory Settino) took to the stage. I love Tigercity for three reasons. Well, there are more than three, but these are the kickers:
1. They have AWESOME facial hair.
2. Bill Gillim’s vocals are all awesome and high pitched disco like.
3. They make people dance (which allows me to people watch and snicker. Two of my most favoritist things).
The guys opened with “Fake Gold,” and played their disco pop-rock for almost an hour and 15 minutes. My unprofessional opinion is that they sound like a guitar heavy Of Montreal, mixed with The Police beats.
After finishing their last song, they left the stage and went behind a tiny curtain. The crowd began to shout “three more songs!”
So, the band walked back onstage, and the Gillim said something like, “I bet you guys didn’t think we were going to come back, and that you couldn’t see us behind the curtain.”
When someone in the crowd repeated the three more songs chant, the lead said, “we don’t have three more songs. How about one more?”
After the show ended, I told my friend to remove the band’s show poster from the wall for me (I heart free souvenirs), and we exited the bar in enough time to be driving out of Westport to witness a hilarious drunk driving arrest. One driver drunky vs five cops. Hilarious.
Hello, all. Long time no see, all.
I’ve been working hard on dried fruit, potato, and sweet potato section stories, a Pitch update, and some music reviews.
It’s the busiest I’ve been in months, and I’m adjusting, eh, OK, I suppose.
Anyhow, I’m a fall nerd.
I love when leaves change color, I enjoy the tasty fall beers that come out, and I love the cool, crisp weather.
So, I’ve created a nifty soundtrack for this year’s fall season.
Here it is:
~
Black River Killer – Blitzen Trapper
At The Heart Of It All – NIN
Useless – Depeche Mode
Cool Kiss – Scott Weiland
Eleanor Put Your Boots On – Franz Ferdinand
Cold Brains – Beck
Die Slow – HEALTH
Deep Honey – Goldfrapp
All Babes Are Wolves – Spinnerette
Walk Away – Franz Ferdinand
Black Tongue – Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Dead Melodies – Beck
You And Your Friend – Snake River Conspiracy
Big Black Bird – Blitzen Tracker
Sleep Alone – Bat For Lashes
Crystallized – The XX
Barbarella – Scott Weiland
Transmission – Joy Division
Wasp In The Lotus – The Dandy Warhols
Lazy Flies – Beck
Death+ – HEALTH
Tick – Yeah Yeah Yeahs
How Soon Is Now? – Snake River Conspiracy
And Then I Dreamt Of Yes – The Dandy Warhols
~
Yes. Beautiful, isn’t it? It makes me pretty happy, or sad.
I can’t really tell.
I mean, some of the songs are pretty damn depressing.
So, I was going to review the new Friday The 13th today, too. Unfortunately, I didn’t think it was worth reviewing. So, I guess that tells you what I thought, eh?
Luckily, I have other things to talk about!
Joy!
This is another list (but it’s another gooden’) of new musics that I’ve recently fallen in love with. Click at your own risk, guys. Some of it may just be too good.
~
The Dandy Warhols covered The Beatles’ “Blackbird.” I think It’s pretty sweet.
I can’t get enough of Blitzen Trapper’s Black River Killer EP. I can’t wait till they come to the Jackpot.
I cannot even begin to describe how happy Memory Tapes’ songs make me. I know, I’m a weirdo.
Another lovely Air song. This one is even better than the previous tune.
A link to a new Rain Machine song. It makes my ears smile, too.
Here’s an update on !!!. The dudes seem just as insane as always.
I kinda dig the Dandy Warhols’ label-mates, Spindrift. I know. I am just as surprised as you are.
~
One more quick bit of news. My lovely friend, Shawn Lavery, created a logo for my blog.
I may look sweet, but there is a whole lot of weird, twisted things flying through my little head.
Pretty sweet, eh?
Ugh. I cannot wait until my hair grows out. I wish I was hair grow Barbie so freakin’ bad.
Over the last year I’ve had a million jobs.
OK. I lied. Bad Abbie.
I’ve only had a handful of jobs.
I’ve been an executive assistant, a pizza server, bakery assistant, cashier, and a minion of the devil (aka salesperson).
I’ve discussed the joys of all the jobs listed above except for the salesperson position.
*shudders*
I don’t know what the hell I was thinking when I took the job.
Abbie + sports t-shirts + other college doo-dads + sales quotas = definite failure
It’s true.
I knew about the store before I applied. Most of my friends thought it was a great store and a solid company.
Although I was severely overwhelmed by the array of red and blue, black and gold, arrowheads and KS imprints when I first walked into the store, I didn’t let the sport’s shock show on my face.
No, sir. I’m strong.
My interview went well enough.
The owner said I’d be working on the floor and using mild sales tactics to sell items to customers.
“We’re not into heavy selling,” said the owner.
The owner even asked me if I would like to do some of the stores marketing and online promotions.
“Hell, yes,” I thought.
I got the job on the spot. Wahoo!
Or so I thought…
On my first day of work, my boss asked me to watch a few DVDs. I sat down in the back, popped in the star laden disc, and watched in horror as the words “selling” and “success” floated across the screen.
Blondie - "Thanks for your purchase! Can't wait to see you again (so I can take your first born and soul. Muahahaha)."
“Oh, snicklefritz” I thought to myself.
Soon, a sleazy little salesman walked in front of an auditorium full of people. He explained how to play on people’s psychological needs and wants, and how to draw them in by being their friend.
“Start a conversation. It’ll get you in,” he said
I couldn’t help but think, “dude. That’s what every guy says to his buddy before he talks to a chick at the bar.”
After finishing the series of DVDs, I discovered that selling clothing is a lot like selling crack; clothing’s just more mainstream.
I tried to convince myself that I would be OK, and that I could develop my own sales tactics that didn’t involve being fake.
Oh, ho. Was I wrong.
From that day forward, my boss followed me around, asked me to perform mock sales with them, and asked me how many people I talked to during the day. The boss also checked everyone’s sales numbers constantly. Like, every hour. Seriously. I was doomed.
But, I kept on reminding myself that I was going to get to help the owner with their marketing efforts.
Yeah. That day never came. The owner never even discussed my marketing work after the interview, and never gave me office hours.
I decided I should quit when I overheard one of my colleagues complaining about how I left in the middle of a sale (translation: I was helping a woman find a shirt we didn’t have, and then tried to help her get directions to another store by asking a colleague to help me. When my colleague came over, the woman began to talk to her, so I walked off and let them be. I really didn’t think they needed me anymore. I was just trying to be polite).
Anyhow, I resigned. Politely.
So, word to folks trying to hire AWESOME salespeople who can sell SEll SELL:
In an interview, be honest about the kind of salesperson you want. Also, let the interviewee know about how important sales numbers are to you. If you don’t, you’re going to end up with the wrong person, and everyone will be miserable in the end.
I’m now very happy with my current combo of writing jobs and dog walking gigs. I’ve also got a few other projects that may happen in the next few months.
So, remember – anytime a salesperson asks you how the weather is, know that they are really trying to break into your mind and convince you to buy things. Don’t listen. In fact, wear ear plugs next time you shop. Seriously. Start a fashion trend.
